(written May 10th).  

     It started months ago when I came to the realization that I drank too much coffee.  

     Not only did I drink an average of 5 cups a day, my mugs were huge and I knew that I had become a slave to my morning, I'm-up-at-5-am-need-to-get-awake cup(s), my afternoon, when-the-kids-are-napping-(my-sanity) cup(s) and evening, warmth-before-bed-while-nuzzled-up-on-the-couch-reading cup(s). You see the problem already, don't you?  I love coffee.

     I also noticed that I was really lagging in the afternoons (which is why I often had 2 cups in the afternoon) this really made me tired and I felt like napping. Wondering why I was so tired- I even took a couple pregnancy tests thinking it was the pregnancy fatigue! (and I say a couple, because I've had 2 false negatives!) Negative. Negative. I also asked for blood work to be done to make sure everything was okay.  I talked to God about how I physically felt as I honestly thought something might be wrong. Turned out, I was healthy and not pregnant. However, I did hear God whispering to me, "It's the coffee." Nah! So I kept on. 


     A friend of mine mentioned that she was feeling nudged to stop drinking coffee too. I was alert to her why's and how's.  But still I kept on- I couldn't stop drinking coffee, I loved it too much!  


     One thing I started realizing (and trust me it went on for awhile) was that when I sat down to drink a cup, it was irritating when my coffee time was interrupted. Do I need to remind you I have an almost 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 1 year old?! OF COURSE I will be interrupted!  Even when the children are supposed to be napping, they always find ways of getting my lazy butt in their rooms to (hug, kiss, pat, hold) them and if it's Henry who decides I can't have a coffee break now, it can be thirty minutes before I return to my finest cup of COLD coffee. (Maybe that's why I always make myself 2, just in case I can't enjoy my first hot?) 


     I say this like my children know that I am having my afternoon coffee break and they are trying everything in their power to ruin my day! Isn't that how it feels sometimes though? I can assure you, your children are not trying to ruin your day, maybe just desiring love, assurance, security or affection from you. Yes there are days my children are just messin' around, making bad decisions which involves me showing some discipline, but I treated my coffee break like my time in front of the altar of God. It was too important. I loved it too much. 


    One day, about two weeks ago, I was crying to God about His plans for my family. I was asking Him to ask much of us, to send us out to the battlefield, to show us how we can be radical for His name's sake.  And this is what He told me, 

"Leanne, I have asked you to do something simple, and you still have not done it." 


     I bawled. I knew exactly what it was. God wanted me to stop drinking coffee- maybe for a season, maybe for a lifetime. "Okay, I surrender." And so I did. April 29th was my last cup of coffee until today (I'll explain later.) 


     The thing that I really learned from all of this was this: God asked me to give something up, not because He wanted to take something away, but rather He wanted to FREE me from it. There is a huge difference! 

     Our God is a jealous God and not in a bad way, but in a perfect way. He doesn't want us to fall idol to anything.  He doesn't want us to love something so much that it leads us to sin, carelessness or lack of worship to Him. He wants all of our hearts. 

     Now, this might sound silly to you considering my idol in this blog post is coffee. Did I love coffee more than I love Jesus? Absolutely and obviously not!  BUT the importance I placed on getting my hot cup of coffee in 1-5 times a day was changing my attitude and therefore my behavior with anything or anyone who interrupted it, namely my children.  

     God wants me to love my children above coffee, and if the absence of coffee can make this little world in the Reichhoff home a better place that honors God with more of me, than God will show me what has too much importance in my life... for me at this time, it is coffee.  

     He was also freeing me from the fatigue I felt that coffee left. Now, I'm not saying at all that drinking coffee is a sin or shouldn't be done by Jesus followers- so please don't take any of what I'm saying that way. But God does reveal our idols to us and asks us to dethrone them. Idols come in all shapes and sizes- even in the shape of a coffee mug. 

    God is good. He is kind to show me what has enslaved my heart and my life. He is merciful to reveal to me an idol that I am worshiping and He is freeing me  from the physical and emotional dependency coffee gave me. At first I was really sad that I had to give it up, but when I realized God was actually freeing me to love Him and my children more and free my body to more energy and endurance, then I realized how wonderful the choice of obedience was!

     ...Now to explain my cup of coffee today. 

     It was my first time sitting down with the Lord in a week because of company over. It was a coffee sort of day. I headed across the street to the organic store for a cup because I had no half-n-half (and what is coffee without it?!) and came home and got comfy in my leather recliner with my Bible open. 

     I asked God right away, Am I sinning? It's only one cup, and I haven't had one eleven days. But I missed it and thought one couldn't hurt. Well, it didn't "hurt" but I felt conviction that it wasn't time and then my devotional that I read with coffee in hand is this:

   People may think I'm crazy to say that God told me to stop drinking coffee- and to someone who isn't seeking after the will of God for their life, I could see how that would seem weird. 

     God speaks to us all in different ways and asks different things of us and Jesus speaks to us in the big moments and the little moments. He not only wants us to listen and obey in the moments of grandeur but also in the ones no one else might notice. 

     This devotional was one of a few ways that God confirmed what He said in the beginning and that was to not drink coffee for a time. I'm not sure how long, but as a believer I need to heed to His words and delight in His wisdom.

      God has asked me to stop drinking coffee for my good not because He's mean and wants to take away something I enjoy. I'm thankful that although I don't always understand, I can truly trust in all that He says.

Jesus, help me to conform to Your ways. Help me delight in Your words even when they seem hard or feel like I'm missing out on something. Give me strength when I desire a cup and fill me with the satisfaction that only comes from You Jesus. Amen.

     Days as a mother of three, can be so exhausting. It is not only physically exhausting, but mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. 

      Kids demand so much. My son Oskar who is almost 4 is so interested in learning everything- he asks lots of questions and he won't settle on a simple answer most of the time either... he wants a detailed explanation! Mischa is 2 and her favorite words these days are, "Mama, watch me", then she'll twirl, jump, spit... whatever it is and laugh at herself and start again, "Mama..."  Henry is almost a year old and likes everything he shouldn't- the garbage,  my Pyrex glass bowls, the dirt in my plants, the stairs, the toilet, the toilet paper... anything and everything that is not defined as a child's toy. 

     It seems every ten minutes or less he is getting into something- and it's always while I'm doing something.  (Are these two related?)  I'll be explaining something to Oskar (lately it's how the sewer works), while my eyes are on Mischa jumping, "Mama, watch me!" while pulling toilet paper out of Henry's mouth.  Ten minutes later I'm doing almost the same thing except I'm picking up the coffee grinds and left over food off the floor because Henry pushed over the garbage.  (Next house, I'm getting a pull-out garbage!)  

     Life can be so crazy. Let me rephrase that- life is always crazy. If I'm not after one kid I'm picking up after the other. All the while trying my hardest to clean the house and TRYING to spend some quality time with my children- and by quality time I mean sitting with them, laughing and playing something.  But it never seems to go that way. 

     Have you seen the movie "Mom's Night Out?" I just went to see it last week with a bunch of ladies.  First of all I feel like Allyson in the movie with three kids, her head spinning, kids all over the place, the house upside down, hiding in a closet... (I've only ever done that in my mind) and when she finally gets a chance to have alone time she feels overwhelmed- like she isn't a good mom and she can't do it anymore. I have days like that.  Whether I yelled at the kids too much, wasn't patient enough, didn't play with them, whatever- I often feel overwhelmed and look forward to my alone time- that is 1pm when they all go for a nap. 

    Today was an alright day. I still rock Henry to sleep ( I know, my bad...) and today was like every other day: he pulls my hair, sometimes out; bites my arm; throws himself back and forth; grabs onto my skin to pull himself up; rubs his drool all over my face... to finally settle down and fall asleep. 

     I looked at him took a deep breath, looked up at the wall and wept. On the wall in his room, right where I can see it is a painting my mom bought me from an old friend, Krista (see her Facebook page here). She painted a nest with 3 eggs in it- each egg signifying each of my children. The nest is multi-stranded and represents all of a mother's day-to-day work that can seem so annoying at times- but yet, all of those things woven together creates a safe place- a home for the children. 

     When I saw this painting today, I wept and automatically felt joy in my heart.  These precious little children have been given to me by the Creator to cherish, train, love, raise up on this earth and what a blessing it really is. The painting is so simple and yet so profound and so is motherhood.

      We were created to nurture and care for our young but how complex and significant that job is! All the to-do's of the day, all the stress, frustration, late nights, early mornings... all of this is part of the nest- it comes with the territory.  As a bird would care for her eggs until they are ready to be on their own, so I am a mother who needs to care for her young until they are ready to be on their own. What a beautiful thing it is.  

    Going back to the scene in the movie Mom's Night Out (see the trailer here) where Allyson is hiding in a closet, she is watching a video of an eagle caring for her young. She couldn't take her eyes off of it. Just watching the mother eagle care for her babies. It brought tears to Allyson's eyes and while watching it, reminded me so much of this nest painting by Krista.  Whether still in the egg- peaceful and quiet or as young, obnoxious birds, a mother still has to do the same thing. 

     And so it is with me. In the crazy times and the quiet times, I need to care for my children. It's what God has made me to do, for this part of my life. It's hard and it requires selflessness, patience, courage, self-control and a hundred other things. NONE of which I naturally have. 


     Part of what God is trying to teach me over and over again is that my children come before me, before my house, before the cares of this world. I really have a hard time with that because I am selfish and want me time when I could be spending time with them, I work and work and work (and work) to get the house (somewhat) clean but neglect quality time with my children. 


     I want this I want that and I yearn for it more than I yearn for an hour in the park watching my children laugh and giggle on the playground. It's funny though because once I get to the playground and watch my children laugh and giggle and run around, I forget about everything else and just stay in that lovely moment.  


    Then today I see this painting and God puts me back in my place- the nurturing place, the selfless place, the patient place, the joyful place. 

     As I write this, tears fill my eyes and skip down my cheeks because I really do love my children and hate that I can be so selfish sometimes.  I'm not perfect, I'm don't always make good choices, but I'm a imperfect work in progress by a Perfect Maker.

     So I rest in His grace, His kindness and the times He whispers encouragement to me and embrace all that He shows me and teaches me.  Thank God for children.

~Leanne

     This past weekend I was at a retreat put on by the pastor's wife at my church for the women of the church.  The theme was on "To live as Christ to die gain..." which is Paul's words in Philippians 1:21.  

     Although the retreat was wrapped around this verse, the word "risk" came up plenty.  I don't find this odd at all as before the retreat, Joey had been reading a book by John Piper called, "Risk is Right"; and I'm reading a book by Jen Hatmaker called, "7" which talks about risking for Christ.  I would like to share some of the things I learned and I hope that you can take from this just a bit to ask God, "What's in this for me?"  

     The first lady to speak at the retreat was a newer Christian woman named Tasha from my church who is full of confidence, energy and sprinkles her words with humor.  She shared how the Lord has given her family ten pay cuts since they became believers- something that most people would frown upon and wonder, God what am I doing wrong?  


     Instead though, this family knew that God was preparing them for something different.  They knew that God was taking away idols and building better foundations in Him rather than their comforts of this world.  Something is coming for them, perhaps in the mission field, but they aren't exactly sure.  However, God is bringing them to a point of,  Are you willing? 

     It's so awesome to listen to a woman who was so independent in her job, reliant on herself and stuck in her earthly views share the softening of her views and the joining of God's plan for her life. What a testimony!  For her, risk for Christ is letting go and letting God.  

     The next speaker at the retreat was Sarah- a worship leader, married with 3 kids whom she home schools. 

     Ever since she could remember she wanted to adopt a child. When Sarah got married her and her husband looked into adoption several times.  Then they had their first biological child. After she was born, they continued to look into adoption.  

     Then they got pregnant with their second child.  After the second, it seemed that childbearing for them was easy and naturally forgot about adopting.  One day, years later, a guest speaker spoke at the church and he said at some point in his time speaking, I feel the Lord wants to say this to someone or some people here: "Don't let your dreams die.  You've let them die, but God wants you to remember them."  

     Right away she remembered her dream- the dream to adopt.  By this time they had another child and the husband was not looking to have anymore children.  However, over time, God changed his heart.  
     
     Now Sarah and her husband have applied and are in the process of receiving a child from Ethopia.  The joy on this woman's face sharing the love for Jesus through obedience was so encouraging.  
     
     YES it was scary but her words, "Risk is safe because it's wrapped in God's grace and power."  If you take risk for Jesus, it's safe because He's in control.  

     She also mentioned how the orphans in Ethopia or anywhere will be taken care of by God, but God invites us to share in the joy with Him.  And of course, the devil hates when we do anything for Jesus, especially when it involves us dying to our comforts of this world- because if we realize that it's joyous, we just might keep taking risks for Him!
  
    Satan loves when we are comfortable. He doesn't want us to take a step into the unknown of trusting God completely.  But this couple did, and through it already they are being abundantly blessed!

     The third and last speaker at the conference was Karen- a woman who came from being a pastor's wife for nine years.  She is grandma to a few and loves Jesus much. 

     She spoke on so many great things, but I wanted to highlight a couple.  She said, "Before we can live for Christ, we have to die to ourselves."  SO TRUE.  So many of us, I think, believe we are living for Him, but we haven't really given up ourselves yet. 

     By "ourselves" I mean what Karen listed in her testimony as: "our rights, our agendas, our plans, our time clocks."  The time clocks struck a cord in me because lately it seems I am impatient with God's timing of things- even though I know it's perfect. 

     I often think, did we miss something?  That is not the case, but rather, God is preparing us perfectly to carry out His business well.  

     Another thing that also caught my attention was that, "When we are convicted, it may not be for that time- it could be for down the road."  Sigh.  This one is hard for me because I am such a doer.  When Jesus speaks to me, I want to jump right on it.  

     Again, lately for me it has been about my writing/speaking career that I feel Him leading me into.  Except the key words even of my last sentence were: leading me into.  He is not asking me to do it now. He is preparing me now for it, but it doesn't mean I have to start writing a book pronto or hope to speak at the next shindig.  

     To be completely honest, I was a bit disappointed in God that I wasn't asked to share at the retreat- I mean c'mon God, I have lots to say! (sarcasm)  

     Honestly, speaking scares me to no end.  But because I feel Him leading me into that sort of ministry I thought He missed out on a good opportunity for my practice. WOW- yes I am proud (and working on it).  God definitely humbled me at the conference, revealing in me some really dark places that need healing.  So it confirmed in my heart that I wasn't ready for that task of speaking yet- because God was still in the preparing stage.  

     What grace He has on all of His children!  Being humbled is not fun, but it's necessary.  Just Friday I posted Luke 14 where it says in verse 11: "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."  Well I was humbled alright.  Being humbled is a great thing. It's not pretty- in fact, ugly doesn't quite cover it.  It's humiliating and shameful, but God is rebuilding me.  He is tearing down what doesn't belong to Him and He is rebuilding me.  

     A lady named Beth from our congregation led us in prayer and worship Saturday morning.  She shared something that was on her heart concerning the group of ladies there.  She shared that we all have potholes and that God intends to fill them- we have high places (like pride and desire for control) and low places (like depression and unforgiveness).   God wants the highway to Him smooth and wants to fill those potholes with Him.  


     Later that afternoon, she shared with a larger group on this again but used the word "root".  I related better to this in my own struggles.  For instance with my pride.  Pride is rooted deep in me (as God has been revealing painfully lately) and it has a root.  I can get rid of the weed that is on the surface, but unless I get rid of the root of the sin (in my case pride) it will keep "springing up".  Unless we get rid of the root, unless we let God kill the root, the weed (or sin) will keep on. 
 
    I didn't realize I struggled with pride as much as was revealed to me.  It saddens my heart that I reflect my King badly through this.  Just like a garden, if there are too many weeds, or if the weed is stronger than then flower or plant around, the weed's root will cripple and kill the growth of that plant.  The same is true about the gospel. 


     IF WE DON'T KILL THE ROOT OF OUR SIN, IT CAN CRIPPLE THE SHARING OF THE GOSPEL THROUGH US. 


     For instance if I am sharing with you Jesus' love but come off as an arrogant woman who only cares about herself, is that going to benefit the Gospel?  Absolutely not. 


     However, and this is what I am praying will be, when we realize our sin, and we choose to repent and kill the root, IT becomes the testimony.  Others can see the power of Christ at work in me. 


     My tears soak my cheek as I write this, because this, this my friends, is my hearts desire.  I love Jesus and I don't want any part of me to get in the way of what He is doing.  


     So being stripped of myself so that He can come rebuild me is very okay with me.  Being humbled means my King is exalted.  Being humbled also shows my imperfectness  and my need for a perfect, loving and gracious King.   His name is Jesus.
Amen.

~Leanne~

So, Friday before I left for a women's retreat, I had posted the study for Luke 14.   Lately God has been revealing to me about my pride, so I enjoyed reading it and reflecting on it. Well, "enjoyed" might not be the most appropriate word... who "enjoys" being faced with sin that's so hard to rid yourself of?
Anyway, I was faced with two situations at the retreat where I had a choice to apply what I learned or to do as I usually did, and that was to think of myself first. (insert frustrated face here).

So you are wondering, how did you get to put this into practice?  I was not invited to a wedding feast, but I did go to a ladies retreat this past weekend.  When we arrived at the conference center, we got to our room and started picking out our beds to sleep.  There were two bunk beds, a queen bed and a pull out twin bed.  Now being that I am pregnant, I assumed I should get the queen bed! I did not say this out loud, however,  I remembered this passage from Luke from that morning and chose to claim a bunk bed.  Now, maybe I could have done a bit better yet in applying this text, as I did not choose the top bunk.  I'm sure all of you readers of mine would agree that being 6 months pregnant, (and not the cute little petite frame of a body I so wish I had at this time!) the top bunk was not quite the best place for me and my fat body to get up into.  So, I chose the bottom bunk.  I'm not gonna lie- I thought someone would offer me the queen bed- and considering I was obviously the most "distinguished" person there, maybe I did deserve it.  My friend offered me the bed, but for once in my life, I chose not "the place of honor".  Usually in my selfish being, I would just claim the bed since I'm pregnant, but you know what, it was better that I didn't and it brought a strange joy to my heart to take the not-so-comfy place of rest.  This simple and maybe silly-to-you act of obedience to God's word really satisfied me. Oh and by the way the not-so-comfy place of rest turned into just a not-so-big place of rest. The mattress was super comfy and the pillow was better than mine at home! 

Anyway, the second opportunity to obey the Scriptures, in again, a maybe silly-to-you sort of way, was as we were getting ready to leave the retreat center.  We had put our bags in the trunk and I had the opportunity to choose my seat in the SUV.  On the way I sat in the back, which actually wasn't bad considering I get car sick often. The Lord reminded me that this again was an opportunity not to take the seat of honor, this being the front seat.  Now again, I could justify my neglect of God's reminder: Um, God do you remember I get car sick?  You do realize I'm the size of all three of these ladies put together and the front seat is where I should be! It just makes sense!  Nope, I didn't go there.  I just opened the door to the back seat and buckled up (I think).   Now in this situation nobody offered me the front seat, but you know what?  I was glad, because again, I had this strange sense of joy knowing I "passed the test" of the parable.  To you this might seem kind of odd, but to me these are big steps of sanctification in my life.  Again this is on a small scale, but if I don't obey in the small ways, what makes me think I'm going to obey in the big stuff?  I encourage you friends, to be mindful of the small ways you can obey the Word- even if it seems silly, insignificant or if it means giving up a nice cozy bed or what's best for you.  You know what came to mind later on about the SUV seat choice?  All three of those women may experience car sickness, but their prudence and godliness didn't speak of it.  Maybe each of them were choosing the lowly spot to sit too.  It was revealed to me (again) my pride and selfishness, because usually, I would make mention of my tendency to get car sick.  Thinking about that ugliness in me, almost makes me couch sick (yes I am sitting on my couch).
My prayer is that His Word would become so alive in you that you see face to face ways- big and small- to be obedient to His Word and to be more like Jesus!

~Leanne~

Well it's been a week since Joey, my husband, has been back from the Philippines.  And I think I can say... things are back to normal.  It took a few days for Joey's sleep schedule to get back on the USA track and it took me a few days to get used to sleeping beside a snorer again!  Heehee.  We all missed him, although we had great friends and family take very good care of us while he was away.  Joey said the best things about his trip were being around other godly men for ten days straight, with no distractions (that's including me!) and also being in a foreign country ministering to strangers- yet they weren't strangers- they were brothers and sisters in Christ. He thought it to be so amazing that although they had never met, cultural barriers, and didn't have much in common- Jesus was the One thing that connected them together as if they were close family.  Isn't it amazing how the family of God works?  Last night we had youth group at our church that Joey leads and I help out with- it runs at the same time as a couple other ministries at church, so when we go, we see our church family.  I always leave the church anticipating the next time I get to see them.  Jesus unites His children together with His love and grace.  It's amazing.  
Anyway, after Joey shares with our church family this Sunday at church I will post some pictures from his trip! Stay tuned!

~Leanne~