"The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin." [Proverbs 10:8]

"Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, but a babbling fool will come to ruin." [Proverbs 10:10]

"The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near." [Proverbs 10:14]

"When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent."  [Proverbs 10:19]

"The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense." [Proverbs 10:21]

"With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered." [Proverbs 11:9]

"Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent." [Proverbs 11:12]

"An evil man is ensnared by the transgressions of his lips, but the righteous escapes from trouble." [Proverbs 12:13]

"The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult." [Proverbs 12:16]

"Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." [Proverbs 13:3]

"By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve them" [Proverbs 14:3]

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." [Proverbs 15:1]

             Some of these verses were read on Sunday at church as part of a sermon about the destruction our mouths can do.   After almost every verse read, my heart seemed to pound harder and the beat seemed to get faster.  I knew the Lord was speaking to me.  So, I prayed and read His word and added a few more proverbs that rang in my heart.      

                If any of you know me personally, you have probably experienced the sharpness of my words, the harshness of my tone and the arrogant delivery of my speech.  I swear, it's the thorn in my side. 

 For years I have asked Jesus to remove it from me, and it has been an ongoing deliverance, but there is still some to be pruned out.  It's probably the most disturbing thing I know about my flesh, and I am completely ashamed when it makes entrance through a life I am trying to live in holiness.   Thank God for His grace and mercy upon my foolishness.  Thank God that He loves me so much that He won't let me stay this  way.  Thank God that He forgives me for hurting His children.  I am very thankful that He has revealed to me this weakness, because I don't want to dishonor God, "come to ruin" or "destroy my neighbor".  I have seen Him root out much of my "babbling", but there is still is some that is lodged deep in my being that He is working on this very moment.  As the Lord guided, I looked at my past experiences and realized that almost every time things had happened concerning my mouth,  I always had a "good reason" for confronting the friend.  In my arrogance and pride, I felt I needed to address the issue/hurt/offense because that person needed to know what they did wrong so they could change.  {**BUZZER**} Wrong!  It is NOT my responsibility to tell someone where they went wrong in hopes they change.  That's God's job.  In every situation, I meant to come across loving and kind, but the thing is, they were offended by my harsh confrontation and my pride in thinking I needed to address the issue, so of course things went sour!  In the past two years of ruining relationships with my words, I have come to learn you have to pick your battles.  I always felt the need to confront people who hurt me- intentionally or not.  I think confrontation is a Biblical thing if it's done in love and if it is necessary.  However in some of my experiences, I just needed to put on my big-girl pants and ignore the insult, praying that God would do a work in that person, and not think my words would change them.   Many times, it would be my words then, that would cause the problem and stir up anger.  Yes, I was being honest, and sometimes confrontation was necessary, but my delivery was unloving, harsh, destroying and arrogant.  After a few episodes of ruining relationships, I had thought I worked this out in me- until this past Sunday when I heard Pastor Tom preach on Proverbs.  If I'm a believer, why do I still struggle with this? were the thoughts going through my mind.   

                We all struggle with something.  We can't be perfect, because only Jesus is perfect, and because of His great love for us, He will mold us more into His perfect image.  I have seen evidence of that, and some close to me can testify to it as well.  I have shared in other blogs how in the past, I have used my words to manipulate, rip people apart, discourage, slander, mock and lie.  But in the last couple years, Jesus has turned my manipulating words, into words of wisdom; my destroying words, to build people up; my discouraging words to encourage; my slandering words, to praise; my mocking words to confess and my lyng words to speak truth.  Only Jesus could do that.    I still mess up.  Big time.  But I can't dwell in my sin, I have to move forward in the forgiveness my Savior offers me.  This past week, I feel God spoke more clearly to me concerning my tongue, and I hope to see no more of the poison it sometimes produces.  It says in James 3:8 that "no human being can tame the tongue".  I am a great example of that.  Jesus can transform our words meant for evil, and turn them into words of holiness.  James 3 also says in verses 6-7 that, "...The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness.  The tongue is set among our members, staining our whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell."  More of James 3:  "[The tongue] is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  My brothers, these things ought not to be so.  Does a spring forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?  Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs?  Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water."  

                Apart from Jesus, I am a babbling fool that will come to ruin.  Apart from Jesus I am full of ugliness.  Apart from Jesus, I will tear people down and build myself up.   When surrendered to Him, my babbling turns into words of gentleness, kindness and grace.  When surrendered to Him, I am full of Him, who makes me righteous.  When surrendered to Him, I will build people up through love and encouragement and humble myself and exalt the only One who deserves to be exalted.  

 Jesus, may you transform the poison that still remains on my tongue into gentleness, kindness, love, humility, encouragement, praise, and truth.  Jesus, I don't want my tongue to hinder, in anyway, what you are doing in and through me.  I surrender all that I am able to say- I ask that all the words coming from my mouth would honor You, exalt You and please You.  Amen.

I share this with you because I am letting God use my ugliness for His glory.  He will turn what was meant for evil and use it for His good. 

Amen.

~Leanne~ 

Listen to Pastor Tom Kelby's message on "Proverbs and your Tongue"

www.handstotheplow.org/audio-table.html?seriesid=20

  Mmmmmm.  Coffee.  Many of us are coffee drinkers, aren't we?  You can be the simple drinker- stickin' with Folgers, Maxwell House, off brands... then there's the coffee connoisseur- only drinking the finer cups of coffee, involved in coffee clubs and owning a delicate glass french press.  Me?  I'm kinda in the middle.  I enjoy a good cuppa joe but I won't buy the expensive stuff for everyday drinking, only because I don't have $40 to spend on coffee every month...maybe one day.  For my daytime intake, I prefer Folgers.  But in the evening, or if I am just wanting a really good cup of coffee, I drink this splendid 100% Arabic decaf coffee.  It's wonderful!  I love the aroma in the room when it's brewing.  The taste down to the last sip, is so good.  The coffee leaves a wonderful after taste in my mouth, and it's perfect strong- with just a bit of half and half.  I found this fair-trade organic swiss water decaf coffee at...WALMART!!  Online, that is. It's not in any store around here.  For 12oz I pay just $5.75!  I combine a few with other household items in my online cart, and as long as I reach $45, (which is easy to do when I include toothpaste, catlitter, catfood, toilet paper, etc.) I get free shipping, and honestly, it comes to my door in 3 days or less.  Simple, and perfect.  Except one thing.  Walmart ships via Fedex, and the guy who delivers my package from Walmart is attractive.

  Notice, I didn't use the word handsome, cute, funny, good-looking.  I used the word attractive, because I am attracted to him.  He had been delivering my packages for months.  About ten months ago while I was still pregnant with Mischa, I realized I was attracted to him.   I knew right away that I should tell Joey, so I did.  He kind of laughed it off, as it didn't seem that big of a deal- which it wasn't.  It wasn't until about 2 months ago I realized it was maybe a bit more than I had first thought.  It started when he brought a heavy box into the breezeway for me since I was extremely pregnant and wouldn't lift the 40 lb package.  Then it became short, simple greetings... but with that smile...that darn smile!  Ladies, you know the smile I'm talking about.  Oh, and don't forget the eyes- not sure what they do specifically, but I do know they lure a woman's heart.  Haha, as I'm typing the Fedex van drove by!  (Notice I said drove BY, not TO my house!!) 

        Anyway, some of you would say: "Why is it a problem that an attractive guy delivers Walmart packages to your door? You're not inviting him in to cuddle on the couch!"  Well, my answer is this: I want to protect my marriage at all costs.  Some of you may laugh.  If you've been in this situation before- where you know your heart is dancin' for a man other than your husband- you would understand my decision to not order online from Walmart.  No more Club Coffee World Collection Swiss Water 100% Arabic Decaf Ground Coffee. (insert sad face) 

        Obviously, my marriage is more important to me than the best decaf coffee...so the coffee had to go.  Some of you still don't get it.

Let me explain the last time I saw Mr. Fedex Guy, to start my reasoning with you.

        About two weeks ago, my decaf coffee was on it's way here- and thanks to tracking numbers, I knew it was coming that day.  I had been out of my favorite coffee AND my Folgers for a few days now, and both were coming.  As ridiculous as it is, I peeked down the highway every now and then to see if I could see the Fedex van coming.  But there was something brewing inside of me that I wasn't liking.  It wasn't excitement for the coffee to arrive but the anticipation for the brief, giddy conversation I would have with my delivery boy.  I kept trying to shrug it off- I even prayed about it.  That day, I was aware of how I looked.  I made sure I wasn't looking nice for him, but rather, my face was without makeup (yikes!), my unwashed hair was in a ponytail,  and I wore housework clothes- sweats and a t-shirt.  I had been baking that morning to prepare muffins for small group,  and just after I pulled them out of the oven, I walked past my door and saw "Fedex boy" heading into my garage (where he drops off).  He saw me.  So of course, I had to go say hi... right?  I opened the door and he took a step in, to hand me the package.  Then he said, "Mmmmmmm.... it smells good in here."  "Oh, I was just baking muffins.  Would you like one? They just came out of the oven," I said, casually.  He responded with, "I'd love a muffin." Okay, not a big deal.  Except then I skipped up the one step into my kitchen, to grab him a fresh, hot muffin.  My face was probably flushed with awkwardness, my words not smooth at all.  I gave him the muffin, without butter (what muffin is good without a stick of butter???) (jk) and said, "Enjoy, have a good day!"  He left, but I noticed he would be back the next day, because Walmart split my order up and the baby wipes didn't come.  I felt like a teenager. This wasn't supposed to happen to a happily-married mother of two- but it did. When I say, "This isn't supposed to happen..." that was my guilt talking, not God.  The evil one wants to destroy what God puts together. Ever feel like your marriage is on the rocks?  Ever see that girl or guy staring in your direction and it just gives you a giddy heart?  It doesn't happen by accident.  God gave us eyes and hormones, so I think it is okay to notice a good looking person.  But what do you do after you notice? For me, I knew that I hadn't made any mistakes yet, but I could have been on the road to making one.  I'm sure I would have stopped "our relationship" before anything serious happened, but why not stop it now, before the opportunity arrived and I'm faced with temptation?  Too many marriages end in divorce.  They say half of all marriages end in divorce, including "Christian" ones.  I don't want to be part of the divorce statistic, and I will do whatever it takes to protect, save, and strengthen my marriage.  For some of you, my radical decision may seem extreme, but so is divorce!  The decision I made was really pretty small- I'm not going to order from Walmart online again.  But, the effect that decision had on my marriage was crucial.  What if I had not said anything to Joey about my attraction?  What if the Fedex guy felt the same way about me and made a move at some point? What if I had ignored the feelings I had and dismissed them with the excuse that everyone has these moments? The consequence to any of these would have been disasterous.

How far are you willing to go to protect your marriage?  

~Leanne~