Foggy

1 peter 1 study

I love this chapter. I read it a few times before writing- not because I chose to read it a few times for clarity- no, it was because I hadn't prepared my mind and I wasn't sober minded.  My vision was clouded, and I couldn't concentrate, nor connect with this chapter.  When I say that I wasn't sober minded, I don't mean that I had a few beers in me- trust me when I say I've been without alcohol since October 13, 2009. When I say my vision was clouded, it wasn't because I decided to go out early morning when there was a heavy fog surrounding me.  However, this past week, I received money in the mail since it was my 29th birthday, and my mind was not on Jesus, but on how I could spend all the money I got.  Been there? Maybe not.  I have- more than a few times.  I was obsessing over clothes, shoes and kitchen stuff- aka: things.  Some people would call it OCD.  The Bible calls it idolatry.  As much as I was avoiding the thought of it being idolatry, I was still in prayer every day asking the Lord to take this obsession from me.  But I wasn't doing my part.  I was still going online, still shopping. Yesterday, I emptied out all my online carts and closed my laptop.  No more. I finally did my part, and this morning, my vision is back and I am sober-minded once again.  My mind is ready for action.  What clouds your vision?  What takes away your focus from Jesus?  I am embarrassed to even consider how much time went into filling my online cart with items, only to repeatedly look at them, add to them, subtract from them, add my name to online email coupons- only to have wasted all that time doing nothing- for nothing.  When Peter says, "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance", that's exactly what I was doing.  I was submitting to things that don't matter.  I say submitting, because it's okay to buy clothes, shoes and kitchen stuff- but I was obsessing.  Have you read my article Skincare Struggle?  I was in the same mode.  I spent my time foolishly, and I spent my mind foolishly.  All it did, was take time away from Jesus, my children and my sanity.  Our minds should be set on Jesus- all the time.  If something takes your mind off Him, you should remove it. Period.  You can honor Jesus while you shop, while you clean, while you cook, while you work.... or even by cleaning, by cooking, by working, (by shopping?).  I was not honoring Him with my time, with my money, or with my mind.  It's crazy too, that when I slip into idolatry, everything else around me is affected.  My relationship with Jesus, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my kids. I had a really stressful week- Oskar was driving me nuts!!!! And maybe it was because he just wanted a little of my time... This makes me cry.  I can't believe how quickly and deep it dragged me.   I was so focused on what shirts were on clearance that my son couldn't even let me know he needed my love, instead, I got angry because he was misbehaving.  They say when a child misbehaves, it could be that he just needs loving, quality attention.  Looking back on the week- that's exactly what he needed. 

        Are you going to exchange good time for idolatry time?  What things take your focus off Jesus?  What is pressing on your heart as you read this?  What is the Holy Spirit trying to reveal as idolatry in your life?


~Leanne~