Then it drags me, and I follow
It delivers, and I let it
Then it haunts me, and I darken
Spiral down, covered in shame
Filthy! Dirty! Is repetitive sin
Repent- turn away, yet it comes back for more
This is the chorus of a song I wrote about my past pornography addiction. But it can be identified with any addiction or anything that consumes you. As I have shared in previous blogs, I tend to be consumed by things. Let's take online shopping for a current example. (sigh.) So I am Facebook and see an ad for something that entices my desire. So I click on it (drags me and I follow). It's on sale- of course (it delivers) so I put it in my online cart and buy it (and I let it). I use my debit card- or if it's you, maybe a credit card- and complete the purchase. After I click the mouse to complete the order, a heaviness weighs down and in my heart- not my mind- I realize I spent money on something that was foolish. (then it haunts me and I darken). I try to call the 1-800 number to cancel the order, but the lady says I can't cancel the order, but will have to return the item without free return shipping. I get mad. (spiral down) Except it's not her problem, it's mine (covered in shame). The bad thing is, this just happened last month. (Filthy, dirty is repetive sin) I ask Jesus for forgiveness for not stewarding my money wisely (repent), and I delete that online store from my online bookmarks (turn away) but the following month, I see another sale....(yet it comes back for more).
Now I know I stretched it a bit, but in reality this may be true for some. Like me. I don't consider the action of buying online repeatedly, filthy or dirty like I would view looking at porn- but if we continue in sin, and intentionally repeat our sin after we have asked Jesus for forgiveness, it is filthy, just like a "dog returns to its own vomit."
Your repetitive sin may seem not as bad, or a lot worse. I'm sure many of you don't see severity of online shopping in your life, like I do mine. Everyone's got their stuff. And if you think you don't, you're only kidding yourself.
Verse 19 says, "...For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved." I was enslaved to porn at one time because it overcame me. There isn't a better word for it. Whatever your addiction- it is enslaving you. Whatever is consuming you- it is enslaving you. Don't be like a dog that returns to its vomit- get rid of the addiction. Get rid of that which consumes you. Yes, quitting online shopping is extreme, but I am getting rid of that which consumes me. What do you need to get rid of?
~Leanne~
Now I know I stretched it a bit, but in reality this may be true for some. Like me. I don't consider the action of buying online repeatedly, filthy or dirty like I would view looking at porn- but if we continue in sin, and intentionally repeat our sin after we have asked Jesus for forgiveness, it is filthy, just like a "dog returns to its own vomit."
Your repetitive sin may seem not as bad, or a lot worse. I'm sure many of you don't see severity of online shopping in your life, like I do mine. Everyone's got their stuff. And if you think you don't, you're only kidding yourself.
Verse 19 says, "...For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved." I was enslaved to porn at one time because it overcame me. There isn't a better word for it. Whatever your addiction- it is enslaving you. Whatever is consuming you- it is enslaving you. Don't be like a dog that returns to its vomit- get rid of the addiction. Get rid of that which consumes you. Yes, quitting online shopping is extreme, but I am getting rid of that which consumes me. What do you need to get rid of?
~Leanne~
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